Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Nikeysha Sent Packing - Week 2 Recap

The drama has officially begun in casa de top model this week. After last week's previews, we knew it was going to start heating up, but there were more racially motivated arguments this week than there were gay men... and that's really saying something.

The two big questions asked this week were "Are you racist?" and "Can you pose?". I am not sure if either of those is quite as interesting as the "How do you hide your package?" question from last week, but it will just have to do. I was also a bit disappointed in the fact that no one had a jealous behind-her-back bitch fest about Marjorie's picture that was digitally displayed in the house all week with the words "Intelligent, Divine, Marvelous" written across the screen. Maybe we will get to hear some jealous comments later. We didn't really hear much out of Marjorie this week at all, come to think of it, but I'll get to her later.

House Drama: Are you racist?

For now, let's discuss the major issue at hand. Is there a racist lurking in the top model house this season? Perhaps. It all started when the girls were crammed into the hot tub (yes, all 13 of them in a big tub). Truth or dare already had Hannah out of her comfort zone. You could practically see her wanting to bolt when Clark was dared to kiss Elina, which actually was pretty hot. I think Clark looked like she enjoyed it a little bit, and it's definite that Elina was digging it. She even said in her interview afterwards that she saw "fireworks" and that Clark's lips were so soft. Ah, romance. Hannah wasn't into it though, saying to the camera that "I am from a small town and I normally wouldn't hang with characters like Elina or Isis (pause) because she's a transgender." If that wasn't enough to seal her fate as someone who holds extreme prejudice in her heart, just wait, there's more.

A few moments after that, Isis swam a bit too close to her and she physically pushed her. I couldn't believe it. Her excuse was that she didn't want anyone in her space. Were we just supposed to ignore the two other girls she was sandwiched between like an oreo cookie? She didn't mind her arms and legs rubbing against those girls, but Isis got within three feet of her and she got physical. Back in the bedrooms, Sheena and Britney tried to explain that her behavior was offensive, but instead of admitting it and wanting to learn from the experience, she gave her excuse ("I am a stereotypical white girl, so I don't go around saying things like "Hey" and screaming and doing stuff like that.") and then cried for sympathy.

Pretty much the rest of the shots from the house this week revolved around Hannah's obvious dislike for people who are different from herself. Honestly, I'm not sure if Hannah knows what a stereotypical white girl is, but she seems to have some pretty strong opinions in her mind about stereotypical black girls and transgenders and lesbians... and she just knows that she's not like that.

After we watched several clips of one group after another either bashing Hannah or bashing the people who were bashing Hannah, they finally decided to call a "house meeting" and get it out in the open. I have to speak in Hannah's defense here a bit though. She was totally ambushed. that had to be disturbing! Basically, they just gathered everyone together and asked her if she was racist, to which she replied, "No, but thanks for critiquing me." and then, she cried. I did fell a little bit sorry for her. And don't you hate that in the previews they didn't show her saying no? They just showed her walking off... which is a blatant attempt at exploiting the situation for the drama of it.

Later, of course, I felt less sorry for her when she was describing the house meeting as being "like gang rape or gang violence". Obviously this small town girl has no idea how far that was from something as terrible as gang rape. We'll just have to watch and see how the drama plays out from here and if she continues to show prejudice or not. I'll tell you one thing, though, the episode made me glad thatI don't live in a house with 12 other women.

The only other interesting house event worth mentioning is that we got to watch Isis take her hormone shots. It became a bonding event between her and Analeigh when she asked her to come in the bathroom and distract her from the pain while she was taking her injections. I have to say, Analeigh was a good friend to her. She made her laugh and passed zero judgment on her for it.

Modeling Drama: Can you pose?

Everyone's favorite poser was back this week to teach the noob models a thing about extreme posing. Benny Ninja met with the girls and had them pose inside red fabric tubes. Most people did a decent job, but the most common comment was that their poses were good, but their faces were not. I'm sure it's hard to concentrate on two things at once, so we have to give them a little bit of time to get used to it. Haha. Sheena was called out for being the best and the most flexible (she can do that standing up full split that the girl from Pussy Cat Dolls does in the "When I grow up" video). Probably the worst of the day was Hannah, who just couldn't figure it out. Benny said she was "lost in translation", which I thought was clever.

The next Tyra mail said something about whether you've got it in the bag and Lauren Brie made the oh so very astute observation that, "I think it might be a challenge about posing, but I'm not sure." Wow, could that be because you guys just spent eight hours learning how to pose? I wonder...

Surprise, surprise, when they walked into their challenge the next day, Benny was there, doing a full split across a couch with a tiny little gold hat sparkling on his head. Posing it is! Tarina Tarantina, a famous handbag and jewelry designer, was there to judge the girls as they did their best to model her accessories and make her collection pop. The winner was to be the model with the most inventive poses.

Just a few notes on some of the things they came up with: Sam looked like she had no clue at all how to pose, most of the girls just copied each other, Hanna put the bag on the chandelier, which was totally weird, and Nikeysha was dumb enough to walk onstage and say "If I pee on myself, it's for you, cause I really need to go to the bathroom." Oh. My. God. I couldn't believe she actually said that! And that still wasn't the worst thing. Sheena, who was the best poser from the day before, actually did a weird kind of split and placed the bag right in front of her hoo-hoo. The designer found the pose very disrespectful. The winner of the challenge was Elina, who got to take home a bag full of sparkly jewelry. I wonder if she got a tiny sparkly hat?

The Tyra Mail announcing the photo shoot said something about "climbing the ladder" so I had a feeling it would be another top model flying through the air kind of shot. I wasn't exactly expecting a giant hot air balloon though. It was a cool idea, but unfortunately the wind was blowing it around crazy and they had to just hang the ladder from a crane and then superimpose the picture of the girls and ladder with the balloon later.

Lauren Brie was first up, and no one really touched her in creativity. Here are my notes for the other girls, in shorthand:
Elina: Looked like Angelina Jolie.
Analeigh: Ouch. No.
Sheena: Hooch.
Isis: Struggling a bit - bad facial expression.
Nikeysha: So lost. She has no control.
Britney: No good poses.
Joslyn: Great posing and face!
Clark: Terrible. She was sitting on the ladder.
Hannah: Stick figure.
Samantha: Not aware of her dress at all.
McKey: Great when he wasn't taking the pictures. Not so great when he was.
Marjorie: Very good! She looks great with long hair!!!

Later that night, the dreaded Tyra mail announcing panel and that they would be down to only 12 put a sour puss on everyone's faces. Especially after Sheena said, "Ya'll better start packing, hehe." You could hear crickets, I'm telling you. Everyone looked like they feared for their very lives.

Panel Drama: Up, Up, Up and Away

Miss J. Alexander's giant gold necklace said it all. "13" and next week it will only be "12". Do you think he had those especially made? Oh, and I wanted to comment on Paulina's hair. It was super short, but very cute. Did she cut it or just have it pulled up? I couldn't tell.

Tyra got right down to business, and the story was the same for the majority of the pictures: Nice angles, Nice Poses... Bad face. Lauren Brie's photo was the only one that just really made them say "Wow!" and I have to agree. It was worlds better than last week, and really looked like something you would see in Vogue. Elina, Marjorie, and Joslyn also got very good reviews on their pictures.

The most notable embarrassing comments during panel were Nigel saying that Clark's face looked like it was a weird color at panel ("I may have gone a little crazy with the powder and stuff"), Tyra saying that Isis looked like she was in Elementary school (what the hell was she wearing? This is the second week in a row she has looked very bad in panel... she better get it together!), and them calling Britney merely a "High End Catalog" girl. (Of course, Tyra made the comment that she could make a million dollars a year being a catalog girl... and she acted like that was no big deal. I'll take that job, thank you very much.)

The worst of panel, however, was what happened with Sheena. Paulina asked her flat out if her breasts were fake, saying that they were not just big, they were so "placed." Sheena said no at first and went back to her spot. After they were done with the photos, however, and before they made their final decision, Sheena asked to come forward and she admitted that she needed to fess up and tell the truth. Yes, she had a boob job when she was younger. So, she lied, but in the end she came up and told the truth, which is probably one of the only things that saved her this week. Tyra claimed that she already knew her breasts were fake, and I am sure Paulina knew she was lying too. I mean, these women have made a career out of their beauty and their bodies... they know fake when they see fake. I'm glad she told the truth though. That took guts.

So, who's picture gets the digital display for the week? Lauren Brie. The judges even said her picture was top five in the history of top model, which is a huge compliment. It really was a great photo, I must say. Elina was called second and everyone said she looked like "Angelina Jolie" modeling. It's true, but I think she's more ethereal than Angelina. We'll see what they do to Elina in makeovers. I'm scared.

When it came down to final two, it was Isis and Nikeysha. They told Isis that she's a beautiful girl (at which point the camera cut to Hanna making a weird face that read "girl? yeah, right.") , but that she needed to look better in person. They told Nikeysha that she is way too thin and she does not ever stop talking. I personally think she did better this week, but still... she is awfully skinny. In the end, two weak photo shoots in a row sent Nikeysha packing. She cried as she packed her bags and talked about her experiences and her goals and her disappointment... and she talked some more... and she continued to talk as the credits rolled and eventually faded to black, cutting off her final top model ramble.

Next Week's Drama: Makeovers!!!!

I can't wait!! And in the preview, they have Elina sitting in a chair at the salon and Miss J is saying "This will be the very first time in top model history." Any guesses what they are going to do to her? I haven't got a clue, but I am going to be counting down the days until we find out!


Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration