Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Brittany Eliminated: Episode 3 Recap

Tonight's episode of Top Model was about as dull as Brittany's photograph. You still want to watch it because it's interesting and pretty, but there just isn't that (what did the supermodel call it?)... oh yeah... Wow factor. Every year, I scream at the television, trying to tell the model wanna-be's that they should have expected something crazy from their makeovers and if they want to be models, they better get used to people messing with their "look". This year, though, it seemed a bit anticlimactic. There were only two or three serious changes, with most of the girls just getting their hair color changed or the length tweaked a bit. Only two girls cried! That has to be a top model record. No one threw a crazy fit or freaked out and threatened to quit. Overall, that part was a bit disappointing.


The highlight of the episode for me was when Tiara Tyra gave the girls a princess party where she served pizza and talked about how she changed her entire career path when she realized that she actually had a booty and some boobies. Isn't it interesting how Tyra herself left the high fashion modeling behind and opted for more commercial things like Sports Illustrated and Victoria's Secret... and yet she always criticizes her contestants for being "too commercial" and not "high fashion" enough? I guess she's rich enough at this point that she can do anything she darn well pleases. It is, after all, her show.

Tiara Tyra's story about her career change segued into her announcement that it was that time for the girls as well... Makeovers! But before she could tell each girl what her makeover would be, an evil Ms. J hobbled in and gave her poisonous apple, which, of course, left Princess Tyra dead on the chair. Never fear! Mr. Jay was there to save the day as her sweet Prince. He kissed her on the lips (aren't the rumors supposedly that they absolutely hate each other?) and carried her away.

So what did Tyra, the Tiara wearing "Good Fierce Witch" have in store for each of her model proteges? Marjorie was given warm brown hair, but her short length stayed the same. Joslyn got long, wavy hair which honestly did not make that much difference in her look at all. Samantha was one of the only drastic makeovers of the day. Her long blonde hair was chopped off and she was given an edgy short hair cut with bangs. She cried, but she wasn't very dramatic about it, and quickly got used to her new look.

Hannah's hair was chopped off also and she was given a chin length bob with straight bangs. I think it only served to make her look even more young and goofy than she already was, but I'm not in charge here. Clark's blonde hair was darkened to a very rich brown, which looked great on camera, but still didn't do much to help her face in the photograph. Lauren Brie basically just got blonder than she already was, and Analeigh got blonde highlights and thicker layers. Brittany got a weave with some wave in it and so did Isis, minus the wave. McKey's makeover turned out fantastic with them cutting her hair super short and turning it almost black.

Finally, Tyra wanted to make sure that Sheena and Elina got their own identities, rather than being compared to Kimora and Angelina Jolie. Sheena got caramel colored highlights in her hair, and it turned out really well with her skin color. Elina's was the most drastic makeover of all. They changed her from an edgy black haired girl to a wavy, voluptuous redhead. Her transformation was by far the most shocking, and finally I got to see real tears from one of the models. In the end, though, she sucked it up and learned to love it in record time.

Late Night at Walmart

Right after the girls got home from a stressful day sitting in chairs and having their hair done, they returned to the house only to be told that they were leaving again for some "late night" work. They soon arrived at a huge Walmart store that was opened up just for them, and were greeted by makeup artist Sudan who has been on the show for years, as well as Crissy Barker, covergirl spokesmodel and wife to sexy Nigel.

After unveiling the makeup stand that will be placed in Walmarts around the country bearing Whitney's winning Covergirl photo, they announced a challenge. Each girl was to find her TruBlend shade of foundation and apply it quickly, then give a short commercial explaining the TruBlend color selector that can be found in all Walmarts to help Covergirl customers find their perfect match. The winner gets a $1000 gift card to Walmart and her photo on the Covergirl page at

For the most part, I was impressed with the ease of delivery. Most girls spoke fluidly and appeared completely comfortable in front of the camera. Analeigh, however, was painful to watch. She could barely figure out what she wanted to say, and then she punctuated her performance with a tossed off "Yo!" at the end of her video. Ouch. You could literally see Crissy Barker cringe. Brittany and Marjorie also bombed it, stumbling over their words and obviously uncomfortable. Marjorie apparently thought she was shopping at Walgreens, which only shows that she's never actually been in a Walgreens. Either that, or her hometown has the HUGEST Walgreens on the planet. Either way, Walmart would not have been pleased if that was a professional gig.

Hannah was the big winner of the challenge, even though I thought she was a bit goofy the entire time. Personally, I thought Samantha's delivery was fantastic. I have no idea why they picked Hannah, but there are many things about this show that completely boggle my mind, so I'll just accept it and let it go.

House Drama

Now let us pause for the only house drama of the week. After last week's racial tension, I was expecting more firey house scenes, but there ended up being only one strange scene between Elina and Brittany in the bedroom. Brittany proclaimed how much she loved her mother, and the girls in the room got into a conversation about their relationships with their parents. Elina, who hasn't really opened up to anyone very much, offered the very personal information that she never has loved her mom and their relationship is what has made her so guarded towards others. I can't blame her for not going into too much detail about the ins and outs of her private drama with her mother, but Brittany seemed to think that Elina was "evil" for not loving her mother.

Brittany's argument was that if Elina's mom was paying for her food and allowing her to live in her house, then she should love her. Elina said that yes, her mother takes care of her financially, but she doesn't show her any love. Brittany bantered back that paying for things is a way of showing love, to which Elina retorted, "I hate her... I hate my mom." There has to be some deep dark secrets there, and instead of being sympathetic to her feelings, Brittany blurted out that Elina is just "using" her mom. I don't blame Elina for getting uncomfortable with the conversation at that point. There's nothing worse than opening up to some housemates for the first time and being instantly slammed for your feelings. All in all, though, the house drama was pretty lame.

Who is "Suited" to be America's Next Top Model?

The photo shoot this week was the all-popular swimsuit shoot. Mr. Jay explained that Tyra made history by being the first black model to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and that the photographer who shot that infamous picture, Russel something or other, was there to take this week's photos. Also running the shoot was the 90's supermodel turned swimsuit designer, Susan Holmes. The girls were modeling her suits, and I thought they were very cute. I especially liked the pink sparkly one that Lauren Brie modeled. Very sexy.

The models started to freak out when Mr. Jay said he was going to "take the training wheels off" and leave the direction of the photo shoot to the photographer and the supermodel. I knew that things were going to start heading in that direction this week. The first thing I wrote in my notes during the intro to the show was "It's time to step it up and see who has the ability to grow."

Okay, so let's talk about the one thing that popped into my mind immediately... how the heck is Isis going to hide her package in a swimsuit? Mr. Jay even told her that the photographer and Mrs. Holmes were not aware of her transgender "situation" and he just wanted to make sure that she was comfortable. I was amazed at how well she did, honestly, but it's obvious that she was holding back. After a super impressive first week shot, Isis has slowly been slipping towards the bottom of the pack. The photgrapher even commented that he was unsure of Isis's modeling potential just due to the structure of her face. Ouch. That can't be good.

Proving my goofball and strange theory, Hannah looked like a crazy person in her photo shoot. The photographer must have told her ten or twenty times that she needed to relax her eyes and stop doing that with her eyes, but she never seemed to get it. Afterwards, he said that she was schitzy and had psycho eyes. Double ouch. I think that despite the fact that she won a challenge this week, she will not last more than a week or two.

At the top of the pack this week were Elina, who looked amazing with her new red curls, Lauren Brie (who wore that sexy pink bikini) was smokin' for the second week in a row. If Lauren can get her "in-person" look together, she will be one of the top contenders. Samantha's picture was really good, and I loved the way that they had her wearing a white bikini and holding a white flower. It looked fantastic with her blonde hair. Similarly, Mckey's dark hair was mirrored with a black bikini. Her eyes are really amazing too.

At the bottom of the pack, called up at the end to face Tyra's rant about only having "one photo in her hand, and the girl whose name is not called must pack her bags immediately... and go home," were Analeigh and Brittany. I was actually kind of sad to see Analeigh at the bottom. I sort of felt like Clark deserved to be there more than Analeigh. I mean, has Clark even had one good picture? Paulina's comment that Analeigh's arms looked scary, combined with guest judged Susan Holmes' observation that Analeigh needs to do more research and learn more about poses, landed Analeigh in a dangerous bottom 2 position.

I guess I should have known that the one they were sending home was Brittany. After all, they showed scenes throughout the entire episode where Brittany was crying or complaining about how people are always saying that she is "pretty." The problem I had with her argument is that even after she realized that this was her weakest point in the competition and that she needed to show more high fashion fierceness, she never even tried to change her attitude or her posing. She was given opportunity after opportunity to show that she was able to adapt to the needs of the competition, but she really only concentrated on complaining and crying. She got sent home because she just couldn't grow and get better. I loved Brittany's first week shot, but the past two weeks she was just boring and annoying. I was not sad to see her go.


Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration