Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tyra's Fortress of Fierceness

Tonight's episode of ANTM saw a return of Tyra's completely crazy side as she reinvented herself: Super-Smize, the supermodel/superhero teaching models everywhere how to smile with their eyes. You would think that any model who ever watched ANTM would have practiced "smize-ing" every night for hours before coming onto the show, but getting individual instruction from Tyra herself is worth its weight in gold.

I personally was just happy to see Tyra be her crazy self. Her no-fear ability to just do whatever the hell she wants is what makes me love her so much!

And now, more recap, less Tyra fan-fare:

The models made their way to Wilhelmina Modeling Agency where the president, Sean Patterson flew in to meet them in person. Photographer Nigel Barker joined him as the two interviewed each of the models one-on-one. Everyone seemed to think it was a challenge where there would be one winner, but since this is the season for turning everything on its head, there was, instead, a loser. Directly after the interviews, Nigel informed one sad model that she just "doesn't have what it takes to be a Wilhelmina Model."

So who was it? Was it clueless Lulu who actually told them "I don't pay attention to photographers." right after she had just said that she loves and follows fashion? Or was it lazy-eye Jennifer? No, it was doe-eyed Rachel who completely tanked when Nigel asked her to sing a few bars of any song she wanted. She did, after all, tell them that she'd done some musical theater. When it came down to it, the president of Wilhelmina just thought that Rachel had no spark and no personality, and she was sent home.

As if losing someone so suddenly wasn't hard enough on the models, then they had to face Tyra's "Smize-ing" challenge where they were all clothed in tella-tubby-esque pink skintight outfits and asked to battle it out one-on-one. The winners were immediately dressed in designer clothes and whisked away to a private dinner with Sean Patterson at one of Tyra's favorite restuarants - The Bazaar. The losers had to put on rubber gloves and scrub dishes all night. Yuck!

But as we all know, it's the photo shoots that matter most in this competition, and this week's shoot was both fun and challenging. Keeping with the "smize" theme, the women were asked to pose topless with long wigs covering their chests while on a horse at the Santa Anita Park. Some models like Brittany and Laura seemed right at home nude on a horse, giving it 100% and just relaxing and having fun. Others, like Courtney and Bianca, wanted to blame something else for their bad performances. For example, Courtney got upset that Jay wanted her to leave her boot on while she was doing her standing poses. She let that one thing interrupt and effect her entire photo shoot, and personally, I don't even understand why she was angry. He was only trying to protect her foot, right? And it wasn't like it was going to be in the shot.

Bianca's complaint? That she didn't like her blonde wig. She said that after last weeks' stint in the bottom 2 for her attitude, she had learned to keep her mouth shut, but I don't think she was doing a good job of it, personally.

This week's panel included guest judge, Lauren Conrad. What? Seriously Tyra? We couldn't come up with someone else? I guess Lauren is qualified since she designs clothing, but... well, I'll keep my mouth shut on this one. Her comments actually turned out to be right-on, so it wasn't so bad. Oh, and worth mentioning is Miss Jay's strange idea of making his sleeves bigger and poofier each week. I can't wait to see the outfit she/he wears on the final episode.

The Good: Brittany laying full out on the horse, definitely smiling with her eyes. Laura looking both sexy and cute with her braids and her broken down body. Nicole looking five foot ten next to the horse and pulling out an amazing close-up. Erin looking fierce with her ice blonde hair and dark, smoldering smize.

The Bad: Courtney looking angry and doing nothing unique with her body. Ashley standing there looking bored because Tyra chose her test shot as her best shot. Ouch.

The Ugly: Omg, Bianca. Not only was her attitude once again ugly, (When Tyra asked her if she was ready to see her best shot, Bianca's answer was a snarky, "Yeah, I want to see this blonde hair.") but her face was pure ugly in her photo. Even Tyra said she had the "Who farted?" face looking like she just smelled something terrible. I thought Mr. Jay said it right when he said that Transgendered Isis from a few seasons ago was softer and more lady-like than Bianca in this shoot.

  • Brittany
  • Laura
  • Nicole
  • Kara
  • Jennifer
  • Sundai
  • Rae
  • Lulu
  • Ashley
And this week's bottom two: Bianca (again) and Courtney

Ultimately, it was Courtney who was sent home. I personally would have given Bianca her walking papers, because I don't see much potential in her modeling so far. But, in the end Courtney's excuses about having to wear her boot and being upset about it and giving up right from the start of her shoot were her downfall. Tyra said the judges just couldn't put up with a model who was willing to give up and stop trying, and I have to agree with her there too. Bianca better be thanking her lucky stars to get another chance, but if she can't get it together by next week, I think she'll be heading home too.

Next week: The model's have their first fashion show.


Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration