Tyra's Fortress of Fierceness

Tonight's episode of ANTM saw a return of Tyra's completely crazy side as she reinvented herself: Super-Smize, the supermodel/superhero teaching models everywhere how to smile with their eyes. You would think that any model who ever watched ANTM would have practiced "smize-ing" every night for hours before coming onto the show, but getting individual instruction from Tyra herself is worth its weight in gold.

I personally was just happy to see Tyra be her crazy self. Her no-fear ability to just do whatever the hell she wants is what makes me love her so much!

And now, more recap, less Tyra fan-fare:

The models made their way to Wilhelmina Modeling Agency where the president, Sean Patterson flew in to meet them in person. Photographer Nigel Barker joined him as the two interviewed each of the models one-on-one. Everyone seemed to think it was a challenge where there would be one winner, but since this is the season for turning everything on its head, there was, instead, a loser. Directly after the interviews, Nigel informed one sad model that she just "doesn't have what it takes to be a Wilhelmina Model."

So who was it? Was it clueless Lulu who actually told them "I don't pay attention to photographers." right after she had just said that she loves and follows fashion? Or was it lazy-eye Jennifer? No, it was doe-eyed Rachel who completely tanked when Nigel asked her to sing a few bars of any song she wanted. She did, after all, tell them that she'd done some musical theater. When it came down to it, the president of Wilhelmina just thought that Rachel had no spark and no personality, and she was sent home.

As if losing someone so suddenly wasn't hard enough on the models, then they had to face Tyra's "Smize-ing" challenge where they were all clothed in tella-tubby-esque pink skintight outfits and asked to battle it out one-on-one. The winners were immediately dressed in designer clothes and whisked away to a private dinner with Sean Patterson at one of Tyra's favorite restuarants - The Bazaar. The losers had to put on rubber gloves and scrub dishes all night. Yuck!

But as we all know, it's the photo shoots that matter most in this competition, and this week's shoot was both fun and challenging. Keeping with the "smize" theme, the women were asked to pose topless with long wigs covering their chests while on a horse at the Santa Anita Park. Some models like Brittany and Laura seemed right at home nude on a horse, giving it 100% and just relaxing and having fun. Others, like Courtney and Bianca, wanted to blame something else for their bad performances. For example, Courtney got upset that Jay wanted her to leave her boot on while she was doing her standing poses. She let that one thing interrupt and effect her entire photo shoot, and personally, I don't even understand why she was angry. He was only trying to protect her foot, right? And it wasn't like it was going to be in the shot.

Bianca's complaint? That she didn't like her blonde wig. She said that after last weeks' stint in the bottom 2 for her attitude, she had learned to keep her mouth shut, but I don't think she was doing a good job of it, personally.

PANEL
This week's panel included guest judge, Lauren Conrad. What? Seriously Tyra? We couldn't come up with someone else? I guess Lauren is qualified since she designs clothing, but... well, I'll keep my mouth shut on this one. Her comments actually turned out to be right-on, so it wasn't so bad. Oh, and worth mentioning is Miss Jay's strange idea of making his sleeves bigger and poofier each week. I can't wait to see the outfit she/he wears on the final episode.

The Good: Brittany laying full out on the horse, definitely smiling with her eyes. Laura looking both sexy and cute with her braids and her broken down body. Nicole looking five foot ten next to the horse and pulling out an amazing close-up. Erin looking fierce with her ice blonde hair and dark, smoldering smize.

The Bad: Courtney looking angry and doing nothing unique with her body. Ashley standing there looking bored because Tyra chose her test shot as her best shot. Ouch.

The Ugly: Omg, Bianca. Not only was her attitude once again ugly, (When Tyra asked her if she was ready to see her best shot, Bianca's answer was a snarky, "Yeah, I want to see this blonde hair.") but her face was pure ugly in her photo. Even Tyra said she had the "Who farted?" face looking like she just smelled something terrible. I thought Mr. Jay said it right when he said that Transgendered Isis from a few seasons ago was softer and more lady-like than Bianca in this shoot.

BEST PHOTO: ERIN

• Brittany
• Laura
• Nicole
• Kara
• Jennifer
• Sundai
• Rae
• Lulu
• Ashley

And this week's bottom two: Bianca (again) and Courtney

Ultimately, it was Courtney who was sent home. I personally would have given Bianca her walking papers, because I don't see much potential in her modeling so far. But, in the end Courtney's excuses about having to wear her boot and being upset about it and giving up right from the start of her shoot were her downfall. Tyra said the judges just couldn't put up with a model who was willing to give up and stop trying, and I have to agree with her there too. Bianca better be thanking her lucky stars to get another chance, but if she can't get it together by next week, I think she'll be heading home too.

Next week: The model's have their first fashion show.

Cycle 13 Premiere!

Yay! Our favorite reality series is back for Cycle 13! I have been looking forward to this night for so long, and it definitely delivered. Even though I love the show just the way it is, after 12 Cycles, Tyra thought it was time to try something new, and I'm loving it! This Cycle, Petite is the buzz word, with models 5'7" and under ONLY. That means no plus size models. Instead, it's pint sized models!

After what turned out to be a predictable first hour of casting, the season really got to the good part with the second hour's normal episode. Only 13 out of the 14 girls chosen at casting actually showed up to the party, so one lucky girl got to come back. Amber, the girl who proclaimed early on, "I am for Jesus Christ and I will do whatever he wants me to do" apparently found out that JC did not plan for her to be on ANTM. Instead, dark-eyed Lisa got a second chance, but would she make the most of it?

Ty-overs
The first order of business this season was not the typical scream-over-the-cool-house scene. Instead, Mr. and Ms. Jay took the girls straight to the salon for their Tyra Make-overs. I was actually very impressed with how well everyone took their new styles... with one major exception. Bald Bianca, the only person who had almost NOTHING done to her since she has no hair to speak of, was the only one who acted like a complete baby about her makeover. All she had done was that they bleached her eyebrows. I wanted to reach through the TV and strangle the be-yotch for daring to complain about something so stupid! My favorite makeover? It's probably a tie between Erin's icy blond hair and matching eyebrows and Nicole's afro red!

Fun House
Next, the girls headed to their new LA house. With a "fun house" / "carnival" theme, the sign at the door reads, "You must be this SHORT to enter" with a hand pointing to 5'7". Very cute! Inside, the girls found bunk beds with little dolls wearing their faces at each bed (which eliminates any drama with choosing beds - have to wonder if Tyra was so riot-scared she tried to eliminate as much as possible). A nice V-shaped runway and a fabu pool and hot tub are the highlights of this very chic house.

First impressions at the house - Bianca is really a bitch. Seriously. She seems to say all the wrong things. At one point, she was even rude enough to say to quiet Nicole, "I think something's wrong with you." Nicole, yes, is a bit strange, but she's just quiet and being herself. At least she isn't bothering anyone or saying ugly things behind their backs. Laura is just about as sweet as she can be. She's like Bianca's polar opposite. She even brought clothes that her grandma made for her. There's just something so innocent and very cinderella, rags to riches about Laura that has me rooting for her.

The Photo Shoot
I loved the theme of the photo shoot this week! Mr. Jay had a baby photo from each girl and their job on set was to use their baby photo as the inspiration for their current photo. The assignment was to modernize the theme and be very "editorial". With it being the first shoot, you always expect some girls to be rough, but at the very least, you hope they will be excited and eager to please... but some fell far short of this.

On one end of the spectrum, there was Rae, a mother who is dealing with being away from her daughter for the first time. Did Rae complain about being away from her baby when she was on set? Not a drop. Did Rae complain when the stylist gave her impossible 8-inch shoes to wear as she portrayed a modern version of her ballerina self? Not even half a drop. She worked it and had a great attitude the whole way around.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have Bianca. Can you tell she's already my least favorite of the girls? She started complaining from makeup on, saying that she didn't like her makeup. Then, instead of going on set and just making it work, she walked out there with some serious attitude and complained to Jay about her makeup and the smell of her outfit. Seriously?

The hottest on set were Rae, Nicole (who definitely looked fierce), Laura, and Jennifer. On the not-so-hot side were Bianca, Lisa (Jay actually said watching her was like watching paint dry), Sundai, and Britany. Everyone else just sort of fell into the middle somewhere.

Panel
I was anxious to see the judges panel since we all know that Paulina got the boot after last season. I was hoping they would bring out some fabulous new model or maybe even bring Twiggy back, who I loved. But no, instead, they introduced a guest judge... supermodel Chanel Iman. I wonder if they will just do the entire season with only four judges this year instead of five. I think it would be nice if they would bring Mr. Jay into the judging so he could talk more about their presence on set, but four judges will be just fine.

This cycle, instead of the regular contract with Elite Model Management, the winner receives a contract with Wilhemina Models. Tyra explained to the contestants that they chose Wilhemina because they work with models of all shapes and sizes. The Covergirl contract is still a go, though.

Best part of tonight's panel? When Tyra dissed Brittany for being too sexy, her excuse was that she was used to modeling with blond hair, but that her dark hair somehow brought out the sexy part of her. Tyra's response was to actually rub her own boobs and say, "Well, my hair is darker too, does that mean I have to be sexy all the time?" Nice. Tyra's such a kook, I love her!

Worst part of the panel? The fact that Bitchy Bianca actually got a good picture despite her attitude problems.

This week's order, from best to worst, as called out by Tyra's midriff-baring self is:

Best Photo: Rae! Her good attitude and willingness to find a way to make those ridiculous shoes work really paid off!

• Nicole
• Jennifer
• Ashley
• Courtney
• Erin
• Lulu
• Rachel
• Laura
• Kara
• Brittany

The bottom two: Lisa and Bianca.

I was really proud of the judges for putting Bianca in the bottom two. Even though her picture turned out well, she got a lashing for having such a bad attitude. I hope we will see a real change in her next week. Lisa, the girl who was given a second chance when Amber dropped out of the competition, failed to make it worth it. She simply couldn't deliver when it came to her photo shoot and she was sent home.

Next week: The girls go to Wilhemina Modeling Agency and someone is immediately eliminated. Oh the drama!!